Ok. I'm terrified to post this. It's really hard for me to be imperfect. Guess we have my trauma to thank for that. I really didn't want to cry my way through another FAWM without being able to put anything out.

I hate my voice. Not because I think it's bad, but because I struggle to embody it. I don't want a man's sounding voice. I have trained 563 days so far to feminize my voice and it's nowhere where I wish it would be. I keep hoping one day I'll have a voice I can actually have confidence in... actually step into and feel comfortable in.

So, I figured I would write a song that lets me be messy. Lets me just pick a voice and not worry about what it sounds like. I'm not happy with the... any of it, really. But I can't just do nothing and hide in my fear.

The mixing... well there's no mixing, there's constant static from somewhere, I got really frustrated and just screamed at one point and decided to just keep it in because even though it clipped so fucking hard, it was genuine, and I think it fit.

I love singing. I love music. If I could do one thing for the rest of my life, it would be sing. I would give up so much just to undo the damage testosterone did to my voice. But I can't do that, so I'll just mash the pieces I have together to try and make something that still feels like me.

DAW: FL Studio Instruments n' Stuff: Keyzone, BBC Symphony Orchestra (Piano), Vital, Guitar into Guitar Rig 7. Mic is an old Realistic/Shure dynamic mic.

#Piano #synth #Vocal #emotional #IHaveNoClueWhatTagsToPut #Moody #NoAI

(Verse 1) In the dark, I walk these halls Feeling around without sight Countless masks on the walls Trying them on until one feels right

(Chorus) I have a thousand faces but none of them mine Everywhere I stand the sun refuses to shine I have a thousand voices but they bring me pain Open the window and drown in the rain

(Verse 2) Cracked smiles stare back at me Which one will I let them see? This one is ugly, but it feels free This one is pretty, but it makes me bleed

(Chorus) I have a thousand faces but none of them mine Everywhere I stand the sun refuses to shine I have a thousand voices lost in the rain Don a new face and drown in the pain

(Bridge) Blood and porcelain Nothing comes naturally Have to become an artisan Or live in a fantasy So I chip at the faces I listen to them scream Make something that replaces Something that feels like me

(Chorus) I broke a thousand faces, none of them mine Now I wear a mask of my own design What's easy for some, I need to fabricate My joy is my pain, my love is my hate